September 28, 2011 § Leave a comment
Guest post by musician and composer Alyssa (Severson) Hedenstrom.
As of late, I have begun to write letters to a good friend who, like me, is trying to recover her creativity. We have both just recently moved to Texas from the Midwest, her to Austin and me, to Dallas.
We are composers, creators, and confident women, yet both of us have failed to write a single note for months, and our usual creative selves, have been replaced by anxiety, tear-stricken imposters. We thought a new environment would easily give inspiration, but loneliness crudely has been knocking at our door.
Despite all of this, we call and write letters each week, encouraging one another to unclog our creative intestines and let the thoughts flow! We both committed to create something new each week, and my friend’s poem was a sort of consoling salve to my mind:
by Anna Brake
The rhythm stopped;
the ebb and flow of curiosity and determination
dried up in the scorching sun.
The stillness is a solitude;
the burning of loneliness and disconnect
consumes the seeking soul.
The waiting continues;
the dragging of time and the unforeseeable
control the tempo of mood.
I understand this depression, this stillness, this disconnect; but I trust that I have not been the only artist in time and history to undergo this confusion. And so…our waiting continues.
Each day, I wake up, force something new, and the pot simmers (even though my identity has been stolen). I must tell myself that I am and always will create, that it is part of my body and my humanness.
And so, this is where I turn to Ms. Nina Simone and let her lyrics shake my bones as I dance naked to the hope of recovering my artist within and sing,
“…I’ve got life!”